Tales from the Cubicle

As I sit here in my cubicle, figuring out the ways in which I will slack off today, I'm interrupted by the gib-gabbers on the other side of the cube wall. Apparently one of the ditsier administrative assistants wore in her dog's leash the other day. What?! Yep, she forgot she had it around her neck after walking her dog that morning. Everyone thinks its hysterical and laugher is at an all time high. Me, I'm not so amused. I laughed the first time I heard it, two days ago. This will be the seventh iteration I've been privy to and its not getting any funnier.

Science vs. Faith

Science vs. Faith rolled up into one brutally honest and easy to understand flow diagram.

Interesting SPAM

I just got this email (read: spam) today. I posted the good parts below, but here is the basic message. Nadejda, some 26 year old Russian mail order bride, wants me to "mail order" her. Apparently Justin, her previous "mail orderer", stood her up, now she has this visa application and no one in the US to marry. Bummer.

Who falls for these scams?

How are you? My name is Nadejda. I am 26 years old. I live in Russia, city Yoshkar-Ola. I am cheerful woman, and like to do many things as sport, camping, go to the cinema, theatre etc. In a word I like to do all what like all people...

...I wish tell to you history which have pushed me write to you. 8 months ago I have got acquainted with the man from other country by name Justin. During this time we had good relations. We have understood that our relations become serious and we have decided to meet in his country. I wrote the application for reception the visa. I waited reception of the visa approximately half of year....

...I have gone to Moscow to receive the visa. I informed good news to Justin, but he has answered, that does not want our meeting. He played with me....

...I do not know your ideas about my letter, but it would be fine if we could meet and have some weeks or months together. On my trip I want to receive rest from my work and a life in Russia. Also the basic purpose for the future it is search good men for serious attitudes which go to a marriage. I have no children, but I want to have children in the future...

Just in case any of you are interested, here's her email address (zolnadja@bk.ru).

Yes!

Well, its official. I'm no longer living with my girlfriend... I'm living with my fiancee Yep, I'm "engaged".

I had everything planned out, what I was going to say and how I was going to do it. In the morning I practiced in front of the mirror. I was suave, sophisticated, and clam. When it was game time, I was a stuttering, stammering mess. I barely got the words out. Not that it mattered much because the girlfriend was already balling and probably didn't comprehend any of it. Through the tears of joy, I could hear something resembling a "yes". And then it was done. A huge weight was lifted and I was actually able to relax somewhat for the rest of the night.

It was a long time coming, but its finally done and I couldn't be happier. Now if the girlfriend, er, fiancee has her way... we will be married and have two children within the next month. It should be a fun ride from here on out.

Bread & Milk

It's just my luck that our weekly grocery shopping day happened to be the day before the big predicted "snow storm". I put that in quotes because it's nothing close to the kind of weather the rest of the country is getting, but some how everyone thinks we're worse off. Anyway, every time the weather guys predict a "snow storm" the stores fill up with the usual crowd of people looking to buy bread and milk just in case they will be confined to thier homes by the two inches of snow and ice we receive. I normally avoid this mess, but this time I totally forgot about the bread/milk people and did our weekly shopping anyway. What a god damn mess. I have no patience for people in a check out lane in the first place. Now, with the weather, everyone seems to be even crazier... Do you really need 4 loves of bread and 3 gallons of milk? If you're going to buy a snow shovel should you be in the self checkout lane whacking everyone else in the head with it as you try and maneuver it over the bar code scanner? Come one people. Get out of my way!

P.S. If your the 33.33333...% of my readers that live in Florida, you can ignore this post since you probably have no idea what I'm talking about... A-Hole!

Can You Say "Vista Bug"?

I can't wait for the day I can sneak up behind a co-worker and say "delete *.*".